THE SPEAK EASY

Karen is a graduate of the University of Nevada, Las Vegas with a Master of Arts degree in English, Creative Writing Emphasis. She is an English instructor at UNLV and serves as the advisor of the SpeakEasy. She has read her poetry at numerous events in Las Vegas and has been a featured poet at The Mermaid Cafe. Though most know her as Karen Lumos, she usually writes and performs under her maiden name, Karen Schierhoff.

Karen's Homepage

Contact Karen at karen@cs.unlv.edu

What Teacher Told Me

Once I was an awkward 5-yr-old
left-handed
in catholic school
My teacher told me I was undisiplined
and different
and different was against God.


I heard the teacher explain to my mother
how ``they just didn't make
left-handed scalples, and for good reason.''


I didn't so much care about the reason,
but wanted to know what a scalple was
wanted to understand what
would make my parents
smile at me


On the playground
the smiles were punishment
laughter when I fell in kickball
always unsure which foot to kick with
which way to run--
of being picked last, even after
the boy who picked his nose
and ate paste


And then, so many years after I believed I had won--
that I had learned to run--
and had forgotton to hate laughter
an eighth grade teacher
took me aside
and hurt me again with her stories


made me grow up all over again


She told me how she had tried to fit in
how she thought she needed to have
long, straight, blonde hair
and wear white go-go boots
but when she tried to straighten and bleach her hair
it turned into green frizz
and before she had earned enough
for the boots
they were out of style


``and now,'' she said
``shorter, black curly hair is in--
look at Micheal Jackson
watch Flashdance--
and see how much time and pain I wasted
for nothing.''


Still, it was only for painful
because she hadn't succeeded
in fitting in
in being popular


Maybe all I will ever be
Is an awkward little girl
trying to be something she's not


But--


just once I want to be the child that teachers tell,
``You can be anything you want,''
and not the one who should,
``be happy with what she's got.''